2016: Preparing for the Future

Thankfully, I will not actually be growing a beard. Aside from that I am on a journey to look more like Jesus.

At the beginning of the year at my church's leader's retreat, we took a moment to consider the question of what our individual goals would be for the year if we could do anything. Over the recent years, I had overcome the seemingly impossible obstacles and had even more recently seen some long-term dreams come to pass. I had checked off all the major goals I had been perusing and had already recognized that it was time to set new ones and begin to go after them.

I took a moment and considered the question. I was tempted to keep my former pace and find a new big goal to pursue with focused determination. As briefly sought the Lord for direction, the only thing that came to my mind was a certain event from the Bible. When Jesus heard that his friend Lazarus was sick, he wasn't rushed or stressed. He stayed where he was for two more days before traveling to see him. In that time, Lazarus died. People questioned and even confronted Jesus about it, but that didn't stress him out at all. He stayed in line with what the Father was doing regardless of what people thought..

I imagined myself in that scene. I realized I would have felt the pressure of the natural expectations. I would have felt the pull between needing to finish the work I was already doing and needing to rush to save the life of a dying friend. The voices around me would have likely won over the still small voice of the Lord.

I realized I needed to pursue a different type of goal. I needed to become more like Jesus: more free to follow the Lord's voice; more free not to be stressed out by pressures and expectations that would keep me from following the Lord's lead. Not to be irresponsible, but to ensure that the voice of the Lord actually takes first place in my life. Doing so meant stepping back from being way too busy "doing"  and stepping into spending time with the Lord just "being."

Slowing down was consistent with what the Lord was speaking. Heading into 2016, someone had shared a picture with me of what they saw the Lord doing in my life. The picture was that I had been sailing against the wind, but now the wind and sea were calm and still. When the wind picked back up, I would be sailing with the wind.

If the Lord is bringing the wind along behind me, I definitely want to be ready to catch it.

I have learned that when you are in the storm, the goal is to survive and make it out of the storm. There is not much opportunity to thoughtfully consider and prepare for the future. On a real boat, you would not thoroughly mend or replace tattered sails during a storm or even along the journey. Any emergency repairs would likely take much more effort and be of lesser quality than those made during more favorable conditions. During the calm, you asses and repair the damage and strengthen the areas of weakness.

After weathering rough and stormy waters for many years, it seemed foolish or even dangerous for me not to take the time to regroup. I don't know what's ahead, but I do know that the time to prepare for a storm is before it hits. I do know that if the Lord is bringing wind, I want to be prepared to catch it rather than tied up and not paying attention.

So enjoying the calm and following the Lord's lead to rest and regroup is what I accomplished in 2016. I don't know yet know what lies ahead in 2017, but I am watching for the wind. Jesus is leading the way and I don't know where we're going, but I'm going to be ready and it's going to be good.

Waiting for the Lord

The are so many things I've wanted to do and not had time to even begin. I had intentions to do them once I reached the finish line for school. However, once I reached it I realized I didn't know where to begin and that I don't have time to do many things well. On top of that, one thing the Lord has been saying is "wait".

I am paying attention to and trying to learn the the difference between what God is in the middle of and what just seems good. I only want to go where God is leading me and do what He is asking me to do. So I am waiting for Him. 

I have learned that when the Lord says "wait," you wait. Pushing forward when the Lord says "wait" is exhausting and fruitless. When the Lord asks you to wait, it is good news.

Waiting is not lame, it is not punishment, and it is not rejection. Waiting means that something  is coming that is better than what is presently available. Waiting on the Lord means He is He has a good plan and He is arranging the details. Waiting is powerful.

For example, waiting during pregnancy means both the parents and the baby get 9 months to prepare for the amazing moment they will meet. The parents have no ability to form the baby or rush its development. God does that while they wait and prepare themselves. It is also God's grace that He gives the parents time to prepare and anticipate a gift that will change their life forever.

An invitation to wait is  powerful because it's and invitation to see that "the LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still" (Exodus 14:14). Those words were the instructions to the Israelites when they were facing seemingly certain destruction by the Egyptians. The Israelites never had to fight that battle. The Lord won it for them in a surprising and miraculous way.

Waiting for the Lord also displays trust. Logically, taking action is more effective than taking no action. However, God created the universe and knows everything. He is for us and not against us. If He says wait, it's the best thing to do. 

Throughout the Old Testament, the Israelites won battles, not on their own strength or ability, but based on their obedience to the Lord. The other nations feared them because the Lord was with them. Obedience to God is better than human reason. (It's more logical than logic!)

As another example, Jesus commanded His disciples not to leave Jerusalem until they received the gift the Father had promised (Acts 1:4). They waited and received the Holy Spirit, who brought the boldness, power, and guidance they needed to accomplish their mission. The Gospel would not have gotten far if they had ignored Jesus and set out to continue in the ministry they already knew. Waiting in obedience is powerful.

The Lord can accomplish more in a moment than we can in a lifetime. I'm not against working hard, but if one of us if going to accomplish something, I'd much rather it be Him than me. 

I don't even know what exactly I am waiting for. I just know that there's something ahead that no matter how hard I could try, I can't "make" it happen. God is at work, so I am waiting.

If God says wait, waiting is good. Just wait...and see.

Wrestling with God

God is so gracious that He likes to speak to us. Sometimes He speaks to us about the present moment, but other times He reveals plans that are far into the future.

Often, the bigger the promise, the longer it takes to see it come to pass. When the prophet Elijah told the Shunammite woman she would have a son, the promise was fulfilled in about a year. Abraham waited around 25 years before receiving the son the Lord had promised. However, Abraham's promise was larger. The Lord gave the Shunammite woman a son to care for her in old age. The Lord gave Abraham a son in order to bless all nations through Him. When Isaiah prophesied about the coming Messiah, centuries passed before the promise came to pass.

Although times of waiting can easily test our faith, God's promises are definitely worth the wait.

While waiting to see promises fulfilled, we have a choice of how to respond. If we have no faith we can easily disregard the Word of the Lord, rather than seeking the Lord to see it fulfilled. There can also be temptation to take things into our own hands, like Abraham did. He gave up on waiting for the Lord to fulfill His promise, so Abraham took things into his own hands and bore a son through Hagar. Although Abraham did get a son, this decision brought conflict into his household. It did not bring about fulfillment of the Lord's promise.

As we wait to see promises fulfilled, we will be best served by seeking the Lord and trusting in His timing.

So, we wait. We don't wait passively, but we walk alongside the Lord and pay attention to His timing and his leading. When Elisha asked Elijah for a double portion of his spirit, the promise came at a price. Elisha had to diligently contend not to let Elijah out of his sight until Elijah was taken up.

There are many promises in the Bible that are simply waiting for people of faith to grab onto them and fervently seek the Lord to see them fulfilled. The Lord loves us so much that He intends for us to engage with him. He has given us the great privilege of partnering with Him to see His Kingdom come on this earth. He could do it instantly without us, but He chooses let us play a part.

My experience of waiting has felt like holding on tight and continually asking the Lord not to leave me out. For many years, it appeared that the Lord's promises for me weren't realistic. I watched many others do things that I would love to do, as I fought to rescue my life from being caught up in utter disaster. It would appear that "God's promises" may have just been "my ideas." So, I asked God like a million times to be a part of what He is doing. I grabbed on to even the tiniest opportunity that I felt God had brought across my path, regardless of already being overwhelmed by regular life.

Lately, what has been on my mind is the image of Jacob wrestling with God. Jacob had wrestled all night, but despite being injured and exhausted he would not let go until God blessed Him.

In hindsight, I feel like I have been saying "God, I will not let go until you bless me." As I am beginning to see more and more that "God's plans" aren't actually just ideas I made up, I no longer have to wrestle to ensure do not miss out on God's blessing and greater plans. I'm not sure exactly what they are, but I am certain He is going to show me.

So for me, that's what waiting on God's promises looks like - fighting for it while I am waiting and then stepping back and just following where God leads me.

Becoming the Bride of Christ

Recently, the Lord has been teaching me more about what it looks like to be His bride. Marriage was designed as an expression of the relationship between Christ and the Church. However, for me personally and for us as a society, that imagery that was designed to to help us deeply relate the Christ has been distorted.

For me, marriage often meant that when life didn't go right or unexpected problems naturally arose, there was someone right there with me to get angry at me about it. It meant unclear expectations that I was expected to live up to. It meant my mistakes were magnified. It meant being responsible for things beyond my control and beyond my ability to fix, but also having a debt for which I could never be satisfactorily thankful for the things than were done for me or given to me.

Many others, in fact I expect that a majority of others, have had equally distorted experiences (either their own or within their family). I say this because arguably around 40%-50% of marriages end in divorce. Of those that remain married, it is doubtful that all of them are experiencing God's best for their marriage. Additionally, many couples live together without entering into the a commitment covenant of marriage. I once overheard the explanation that "My girlfriend knows that if she gets too comfortable and does not take care of herself, I'll leave. I would expect her to do the same." Media and culture normalize the low expectations for commitment and enduring selfless relationships.

All that said, it's easy to lose sight of God's original intentions for marriage. Even more importantly, we can easily lose the deep and complex message the Lord intended to ingrain in daily life. The Lord knows how the value of us remembering who who He is and what He has done, but also how easily we forget. He has graciously created aspects of life as embedded reminders of Himself. When we remove or distort what He has created, we lose valuable insight into who He is.

So then, if society and experience fail us, what do we do? We return to the original Source. We look to the one that is calling us into and everlasting and unfailing relationship. We ask Him to show us who He is. We ask Him to show us who we are to Him. Then we keep asking. As He invites us to trust Him, He shows Himself trustworthy. Then we grow to more and more deeply trust Him.

Additionally, His is communicating a practical message to His bride.

Among other things, the Lord wants us to know Him as protector, provider, and head of His Church. I "know" these things as facts and even from experience, but He wants me to really know them. For example, rather the Him helping me with my problem of  needing provision, He takes ownership of the problem and all I have to do is come to Him ask. Since Jesus is head, it means that the problems that are too big for us become His problems. Instead of me trying to come up with His plans for my life, I trust that He is capable of leading me to where I need to be. There's so much more to it, but that is a small glimpse of what He is inviting us into as His bride.

As He takes the burdens from us that we need not carry, it frees us up to focus on the things He created us for. Personally, I am noticing that the things I do that are of the greatest value are not measurable, quantifiable, efficient, or of monetary value. Becoming the bride of Christ means recognizing and relinquishing the burdens that are not ours to bear and measuring and valuing things differently. It frees us up to glorify His name on the earth.

It means following His lead and trusting Him with the outcome. It means plenty of things that I don't understand yet. It is a journey with Jesus.

The Lord redeems all things. Even as society has largely lost its vision of and value for marriage, the Lord is inviting us into relationship as His bride. He is inviting us to grow in the knowledge of His goodness amd faithfulness. He is inviting us to a place of freedom where we can spend time on the things that are of greatest value. He is inviting us to a walk of ever-increasing trust with Him.

Join me on the journey?

Grace to Remain Strong in Transition

The thing about walking by faith is...it requires faith. God shows us glimpses of the future He has for us and if we're wise we begin to walk with Him toward those things. Seems simple enough.

The part we don't usually see right away is the journey it takes to get there. It's kind of like a jouney I took to the beach in North Carolina. I was kept the destination in the front of my mind, but along the way I got pulled over by the police, lost down the gravel backroads, held up by a storm and traffic jam, and made probably half a dozen bathroom stops with my kids. I got exhausted and shaken up along the way, but I kept my sights on my destination so I kept pressing forward.

When we persue the things God has for us, there is a transtion from where we are to where God is taking us. Sometimes it's quick and other times the journey is long with unexpected turns. Sometimes it's unusually easy and other times we look back and wonder how we even made it through. We get through by looking to Jesus and holding on to Him only.

Recently, I was reminded that the transition stage of labor is the difficult and intense, but it also means the baby is almost ready to arrive. Usually I have found that the moment where I feel most discouraged and His plans seem the most impossible occurs just before He breaks in and changes things.

Maybe it's because that's when I totally give up on my own abilities, surrender my ideas of what I think should happen, and look to Him alone as my hope.

For example, one day I was driving home from work exasperated with my job, telling God I could not do it anymore, did not want to do it anymore, and couldn't even imagine any job that I could do that wouldn't be miserable or pay very little. Within the month I had a better job that wasn't stressful to me at all.

Another time I was raising money for a trip to Kenya. I had raised less that 5% and I saw that one of my friends has already raised about 2/3 of the money. I told God I would never be able to do it. The following day, a friend put a check in the mail for the remaining amount I needed.

Then Sunday morning that I was in Kenya, I had completely given up on the idea that God ever intended for me to preach. About two hours later I was preaching in a church in Kenya.

I'm not saying that we should focus on how impossible or difficult things are. I am saying that when we inevitably experience discouragement or doubt, we can be encouraged that as we press into God in those moments, hope is just around the corner. All we have to do is hold on to Him and not give up.

Jesus redeems everything. He "bestow[s] on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. " Isaiah 61:3.

We we bring him our difficulties, doubts, and discouragement and He gives us wisdom, hope, and strength. When we come to Him, He give us the grace we need to "press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called [us] heavenward in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:14).

It's an adventure and God leads us even when we can not see. It's not always an easy journey, but it's always worth it. God is always with us and He always faithful.

Entering the Promised Land

The Lord has led me from a place of captivity to a place of beginning to see His promises fulfilled in my life. As I think back on His faithfulness in my life, it reminds me of the monument set up by Joshua once he entered the Promised Land.

       "On the tenth day of the first month the people went up from the Jordan and camped at Gilgal on the eastern border of Jericho. And Joshua set up at Gilgal the twelve stones they had taken out of the Jordan. He said to the Israelites, “In the future when your descendants ask their parents, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them, ‘Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’ For the Lord your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The Lord your God did to the Jordan what he had done to the Red Sea when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over. He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and so that you might always fear the Lord your God.” Joshua 4:19-24

Joshua took time to remember what the Lord had done and set up reminders so that future generations would never forget the Lord's faithfulness. In that same way, I want to take time to reflect. 

I have been amazed by the transformation the Lord has brought in my life and the obstacles He has helped me to overcome. He has been so faithful. My life has begun look more like I intended it to and I feel like there's more than I was expecting. It's like I'm standing on the edge of the Promised Land waiting to see what is next.

I am also reminded that not everyone makes it to the Promised Land. Many get stuck in the wilderness. Of the Israelites who left Egypt, only Caleb and Joshua entered the Promised Land. I feel that it is important to consider what the Promised Land is and how we get there.

First, what is the Promised Land?

1) The Promised land is a place to partner with God to put down roots and become established. In the Promised Land, the Israelites transitioned from their nomadic wilderness lifestyle begin to become an established nation. In the wilderness they were "just getting by" on a day-to-day basis, but in the Promised Land they were able to build and produce fruit. 

2) The Promised Land is also a place where the Lord has prepared victory over the enemy. Well before the Israelites reached the Promised Land, the Lord promised victory over the enemies ahead of them. We will encounter the enemy in the Promised Land, but the Lord has already prepared our victory.

"My angel will go ahead of you and bring you into the land of the Amorites, Hittites, Perizzites, Canaanites, Hivites and Jebusites, and I will wipe them out...I will send my terror ahead of you and throw into confusion every nation you encounter. I will make all your enemies turn their backs and run. I will send the hornet ahead of you to drive the Hivites, Canaanites and Hittites out of your way" (Exodus 23:23,25-27 NIV).

3) The Promised Land is a place to grow and flourish. The Lord promises the Israelites: "Worship the Lord your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you, and none will miscarry or be barren in your land. I will give you a full life span."(Exodus 23:25-27). The Lord promises also to drive out the enemies that have been residing in the land, yet explains "Little by little I will drive them out before you, until you have increased enough to take possession of the land" (Exodus 23:30). This lets us know that the Israelite people will continue to increase to the point that they grow to fit an area that is originally too large for them. Similarly, the Lord has promises He intends for us to grow into.

How do we enter the Promised Land? – Success in the wilderness

We move from captivity to the Promised Land through successfully passing through the wilderness. The Bible clearly explains why the he took the Israelites on the long journey: “When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, 'If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt'” (Exodus 13:17). When the Israelites left Egypt, they were not yet prepared for the battles they would face in the Promised Land. The wilderness prepared them for the Promised Land.

What is the wilderness? 

1) The wilderness is a place of being set apart and establishing identity. The Lord got His people alone in the wilderness and began to teach them His ways. He gave them the Law and began to establish traditions that would set them apart as His own. He also gave them warnings against adopting the practices sinful practices of the other nations residing in the land. 

2) The wilderness is also a place of cleansing. Many of the Israelites complained against the Lord and wanted to return to Egypt. Those whose hearts were turned against the Lord died in the wilderness.

3) Finally, the wilderness is a place of learning to follow His presence and depend of His provision. In the wilderness they could not provide for themselves. They were dependent on God. He provided food daily. He sent a cloud by day and pillar of fire by night to guide them. He kept their clothes from wearing out. In the wilderness we learn that He is trustworthy.

What keeps us from entering the Promised Land?

1) A complaining heart keeps us from the Promised Land. Those who complained against the Lord in the desert did not enter the Promised Land. They turned against the Lord, rather than to Him. Although the Lord provided food for the Israelites, they complained against Him and said things like "If only we had died by the LORD's hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death" (Exodus 16:3). When things don't go the way we'd like them to, we make a decision to turn towards God or away from Him. Turning away from Him keeps us from moving forward toward the good future He has for us.

2) Doubting the Lord and forgetting His faithfulness keeps us from the Promised Land. Rather than believing that God would be faithful to keep His good promise for their future, they wanted to go back to Egypt. If we believe God's promises, we will pursue them. If we do not, we will turn back when things are hard.

3) Fear keeps us from entering the Promised Land. Twelve spies scoped out the Promised Land. They reported back that "We can’t attack those people; they are stronger than we are...The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size...We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them" (Numbers 13:31-33). They made the decision that they could not go forward out of fear of what they saw rather than faith in the Lord's promise of victory. Fear will keep us from moving forward to pursue the Lord's promises.

How do we enter the Promised Land?

1) Trust. We enter the Promised Land by trusting God. Although we all experience fear, we move forward by saying, “When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You.” (Psalm 56:3). We chose trust God despite our fears or seemingly impossible circumstances.

2) Thankfulness. We enter the Promised by remembering what the Lord has done. First of all, we are thankful because He deserves our thanks and praise. It lets Him know that we value Him and what He has done for us. When I see that my kids value something, it causes me to want to give them more. As we give Him the thanks He deserves, we are also changed as we connect more deeply in relationship to Him. Finally, remembering God’s faithfulness develops trust. As we grow in trust, we grow in faith to step out in the future. As we step out in faith in greater ways, God shows up in greater ways. As we see God show up in greater ways, we step out into even greater things.

3) Faith. We enter the Promised Land by holding onto God's promises. Caleb had seen the same intimidating scene as the other Spies that came back with a bad report about the land, but Caleb's response was  "We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it." Caleb believed God and was prepared to move forward when others wanted to turn back. 

I know about these things because I have experienced them. We all experience doubt and fear. Circumstances can cause us to doubt that God is with us and that He has good plans for us. The important thing is how we respond. Getting stuck in doubt, fear, and self pity will keep us stuck in wilderness. Thankfully, it is always the right time to turn turn God. When we do, He forgives us, restores us, and helps us to become free and move forward. If you are "stuck," spend time sharing your heart with the Lord. Turn to Him with what it bothering you and ask for His help (and keep doing it). He is faithful!


How do we enter the promised land and take our inheritance?

We enter the promised land from a place of know the Lord has given victory. We may face battles to take the land, but the Lord has given us victory! If we’re too scared, we won’t go forward.

If we do not trust God – we’ll turn back. If our hearts are not turned towards Him, we cannot enter. He leads us into the Promised Land according to His wisdom and timing as we stick draw near to Him and refuse to turn back.

 “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”Joshua 1:7-9

Why Step Out on the Water?

I realize that I am sitting in my safe comfortable home, only partially understanding what I am saying, but I don't want to live on the boat. I want to step into the unknown, the things that are too big for me, the places where only Jesus goes before me.

Why do I want to step out onto the water? I imagine it is the same reason Peter did - he saw Jesus there and he wanted to go after Him. I realize that Jesus can be with us anyplace. However, Peter came to know Jesus in a greater way. Those who remained on the boat, learned that Jesus could calm the wind from the safety of the boat.  Peter learned that He was safe with Jesus even without the boat. He developed a trust in Jesus that is not possible to learn from inside the boat.

I want to step out of the boat because God has no limits, but we are often limited to seeing only what He can do on the boat. I believe He wants to show us more, but we need to trust Him more than we trust the boat. We can ask Him to help us feel safe on the boat or we can ask Him to invite us to experience something greater with Him.

Clearly, if Jesus is not standing in the waves, we should not step out into a raging sea. But, we should be watching for Him and listening for His voice along the journey so we don't miss the invitation.

I don't know what that looks like, but I know what He cares about and where to look for Him. I know He came to preach the Gospel to the poor, proclaim freedom for the captives and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, and declare the favorable year of the Lord (Luke 4:18). He came for the poor, the abandoned, the forgotten, the widow, the fatherless, the hungry, the sick, the oppressed, the lame, the prisoners, the brokenhearted, the sinners...for all who recognize their need for Him. Stepping out of the boat means I get to go with Jesus to see lives transformed.

I'm looking for a place where there is a great need for Him. If I see Him standing in the middle of it, I will ask Him to invite me to come.