2016: Preparing for the Future

Thankfully, I will not actually be growing a beard. Aside from that I am on a journey to look more like Jesus.

At the beginning of the year at my church's leader's retreat, we took a moment to consider the question of what our individual goals would be for the year if we could do anything. Over the recent years, I had overcome the seemingly impossible obstacles and had even more recently seen some long-term dreams come to pass. I had checked off all the major goals I had been perusing and had already recognized that it was time to set new ones and begin to go after them.

I took a moment and considered the question. I was tempted to keep my former pace and find a new big goal to pursue with focused determination. As briefly sought the Lord for direction, the only thing that came to my mind was a certain event from the Bible. When Jesus heard that his friend Lazarus was sick, he wasn't rushed or stressed. He stayed where he was for two more days before traveling to see him. In that time, Lazarus died. People questioned and even confronted Jesus about it, but that didn't stress him out at all. He stayed in line with what the Father was doing regardless of what people thought..

I imagined myself in that scene. I realized I would have felt the pressure of the natural expectations. I would have felt the pull between needing to finish the work I was already doing and needing to rush to save the life of a dying friend. The voices around me would have likely won over the still small voice of the Lord.

I realized I needed to pursue a different type of goal. I needed to become more like Jesus: more free to follow the Lord's voice; more free not to be stressed out by pressures and expectations that would keep me from following the Lord's lead. Not to be irresponsible, but to ensure that the voice of the Lord actually takes first place in my life. Doing so meant stepping back from being way too busy "doing"  and stepping into spending time with the Lord just "being."

Slowing down was consistent with what the Lord was speaking. Heading into 2016, someone had shared a picture with me of what they saw the Lord doing in my life. The picture was that I had been sailing against the wind, but now the wind and sea were calm and still. When the wind picked back up, I would be sailing with the wind.

If the Lord is bringing the wind along behind me, I definitely want to be ready to catch it.

I have learned that when you are in the storm, the goal is to survive and make it out of the storm. There is not much opportunity to thoughtfully consider and prepare for the future. On a real boat, you would not thoroughly mend or replace tattered sails during a storm or even along the journey. Any emergency repairs would likely take much more effort and be of lesser quality than those made during more favorable conditions. During the calm, you asses and repair the damage and strengthen the areas of weakness.

After weathering rough and stormy waters for many years, it seemed foolish or even dangerous for me not to take the time to regroup. I don't know what's ahead, but I do know that the time to prepare for a storm is before it hits. I do know that if the Lord is bringing wind, I want to be prepared to catch it rather than tied up and not paying attention.

So enjoying the calm and following the Lord's lead to rest and regroup is what I accomplished in 2016. I don't know yet know what lies ahead in 2017, but I am watching for the wind. Jesus is leading the way and I don't know where we're going, but I'm going to be ready and it's going to be good.

Waiting for the Lord

The are so many things I've wanted to do and not had time to even begin. I had intentions to do them once I reached the finish line for school. However, once I reached it I realized I didn't know where to begin and that I don't have time to do many things well. On top of that, one thing the Lord has been saying is "wait".

I am paying attention to and trying to learn the the difference between what God is in the middle of and what just seems good. I only want to go where God is leading me and do what He is asking me to do. So I am waiting for Him. 

I have learned that when the Lord says "wait," you wait. Pushing forward when the Lord says "wait" is exhausting and fruitless. When the Lord asks you to wait, it is good news.

Waiting is not lame, it is not punishment, and it is not rejection. Waiting means that something  is coming that is better than what is presently available. Waiting on the Lord means He is He has a good plan and He is arranging the details. Waiting is powerful.

For example, waiting during pregnancy means both the parents and the baby get 9 months to prepare for the amazing moment they will meet. The parents have no ability to form the baby or rush its development. God does that while they wait and prepare themselves. It is also God's grace that He gives the parents time to prepare and anticipate a gift that will change their life forever.

An invitation to wait is  powerful because it's and invitation to see that "the LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still" (Exodus 14:14). Those words were the instructions to the Israelites when they were facing seemingly certain destruction by the Egyptians. The Israelites never had to fight that battle. The Lord won it for them in a surprising and miraculous way.

Waiting for the Lord also displays trust. Logically, taking action is more effective than taking no action. However, God created the universe and knows everything. He is for us and not against us. If He says wait, it's the best thing to do. 

Throughout the Old Testament, the Israelites won battles, not on their own strength or ability, but based on their obedience to the Lord. The other nations feared them because the Lord was with them. Obedience to God is better than human reason. (It's more logical than logic!)

As another example, Jesus commanded His disciples not to leave Jerusalem until they received the gift the Father had promised (Acts 1:4). They waited and received the Holy Spirit, who brought the boldness, power, and guidance they needed to accomplish their mission. The Gospel would not have gotten far if they had ignored Jesus and set out to continue in the ministry they already knew. Waiting in obedience is powerful.

The Lord can accomplish more in a moment than we can in a lifetime. I'm not against working hard, but if one of us if going to accomplish something, I'd much rather it be Him than me. 

I don't even know what exactly I am waiting for. I just know that there's something ahead that no matter how hard I could try, I can't "make" it happen. God is at work, so I am waiting.

If God says wait, waiting is good. Just wait...and see.

Wrestling with God

God is so gracious that He likes to speak to us. Sometimes He speaks to us about the present moment, but other times He reveals plans that are far into the future.

Often, the bigger the promise, the longer it takes to see it come to pass. When the prophet Elijah told the Shunammite woman she would have a son, the promise was fulfilled in about a year. Abraham waited around 25 years before receiving the son the Lord had promised. However, Abraham's promise was larger. The Lord gave the Shunammite woman a son to care for her in old age. The Lord gave Abraham a son in order to bless all nations through Him. When Isaiah prophesied about the coming Messiah, centuries passed before the promise came to pass.

Although times of waiting can easily test our faith, God's promises are definitely worth the wait.

While waiting to see promises fulfilled, we have a choice of how to respond. If we have no faith we can easily disregard the Word of the Lord, rather than seeking the Lord to see it fulfilled. There can also be temptation to take things into our own hands, like Abraham did. He gave up on waiting for the Lord to fulfill His promise, so Abraham took things into his own hands and bore a son through Hagar. Although Abraham did get a son, this decision brought conflict into his household. It did not bring about fulfillment of the Lord's promise.

As we wait to see promises fulfilled, we will be best served by seeking the Lord and trusting in His timing.

So, we wait. We don't wait passively, but we walk alongside the Lord and pay attention to His timing and his leading. When Elisha asked Elijah for a double portion of his spirit, the promise came at a price. Elisha had to diligently contend not to let Elijah out of his sight until Elijah was taken up.

There are many promises in the Bible that are simply waiting for people of faith to grab onto them and fervently seek the Lord to see them fulfilled. The Lord loves us so much that He intends for us to engage with him. He has given us the great privilege of partnering with Him to see His Kingdom come on this earth. He could do it instantly without us, but He chooses let us play a part.

My experience of waiting has felt like holding on tight and continually asking the Lord not to leave me out. For many years, it appeared that the Lord's promises for me weren't realistic. I watched many others do things that I would love to do, as I fought to rescue my life from being caught up in utter disaster. It would appear that "God's promises" may have just been "my ideas." So, I asked God like a million times to be a part of what He is doing. I grabbed on to even the tiniest opportunity that I felt God had brought across my path, regardless of already being overwhelmed by regular life.

Lately, what has been on my mind is the image of Jacob wrestling with God. Jacob had wrestled all night, but despite being injured and exhausted he would not let go until God blessed Him.

In hindsight, I feel like I have been saying "God, I will not let go until you bless me." As I am beginning to see more and more that "God's plans" aren't actually just ideas I made up, I no longer have to wrestle to ensure do not miss out on God's blessing and greater plans. I'm not sure exactly what they are, but I am certain He is going to show me.

So for me, that's what waiting on God's promises looks like - fighting for it while I am waiting and then stepping back and just following where God leads me.

Becoming the Bride of Christ

Recently, the Lord has been teaching me more about what it looks like to be His bride. Marriage was designed as an expression of the relationship between Christ and the Church. However, for me personally and for us as a society, that imagery that was designed to to help us deeply relate the Christ has been distorted.

For me, marriage often meant that when life didn't go right or unexpected problems naturally arose, there was someone right there with me to get angry at me about it. It meant unclear expectations that I was expected to live up to. It meant my mistakes were magnified. It meant being responsible for things beyond my control and beyond my ability to fix, but also having a debt for which I could never be satisfactorily thankful for the things than were done for me or given to me.

Many others, in fact I expect that a majority of others, have had equally distorted experiences (either their own or within their family). I say this because arguably around 40%-50% of marriages end in divorce. Of those that remain married, it is doubtful that all of them are experiencing God's best for their marriage. Additionally, many couples live together without entering into the a commitment covenant of marriage. I once overheard the explanation that "My girlfriend knows that if she gets too comfortable and does not take care of herself, I'll leave. I would expect her to do the same." Media and culture normalize the low expectations for commitment and enduring selfless relationships.

All that said, it's easy to lose sight of God's original intentions for marriage. Even more importantly, we can easily lose the deep and complex message the Lord intended to ingrain in daily life. The Lord knows how the value of us remembering who who He is and what He has done, but also how easily we forget. He has graciously created aspects of life as embedded reminders of Himself. When we remove or distort what He has created, we lose valuable insight into who He is.

So then, if society and experience fail us, what do we do? We return to the original Source. We look to the one that is calling us into and everlasting and unfailing relationship. We ask Him to show us who He is. We ask Him to show us who we are to Him. Then we keep asking. As He invites us to trust Him, He shows Himself trustworthy. Then we grow to more and more deeply trust Him.

Additionally, His is communicating a practical message to His bride.

Among other things, the Lord wants us to know Him as protector, provider, and head of His Church. I "know" these things as facts and even from experience, but He wants me to really know them. For example, rather the Him helping me with my problem of  needing provision, He takes ownership of the problem and all I have to do is come to Him ask. Since Jesus is head, it means that the problems that are too big for us become His problems. Instead of me trying to come up with His plans for my life, I trust that He is capable of leading me to where I need to be. There's so much more to it, but that is a small glimpse of what He is inviting us into as His bride.

As He takes the burdens from us that we need not carry, it frees us up to focus on the things He created us for. Personally, I am noticing that the things I do that are of the greatest value are not measurable, quantifiable, efficient, or of monetary value. Becoming the bride of Christ means recognizing and relinquishing the burdens that are not ours to bear and measuring and valuing things differently. It frees us up to glorify His name on the earth.

It means following His lead and trusting Him with the outcome. It means plenty of things that I don't understand yet. It is a journey with Jesus.

The Lord redeems all things. Even as society has largely lost its vision of and value for marriage, the Lord is inviting us into relationship as His bride. He is inviting us to grow in the knowledge of His goodness amd faithfulness. He is inviting us to a place of freedom where we can spend time on the things that are of greatest value. He is inviting us to a walk of ever-increasing trust with Him.

Join me on the journey?

Grace to Remain Strong in Transition

The thing about walking by faith is...it requires faith. God shows us glimpses of the future He has for us and if we're wise we begin to walk with Him toward those things. Seems simple enough.

The part we don't usually see right away is the journey it takes to get there. It's kind of like a jouney I took to the beach in North Carolina. I was kept the destination in the front of my mind, but along the way I got pulled over by the police, lost down the gravel backroads, held up by a storm and traffic jam, and made probably half a dozen bathroom stops with my kids. I got exhausted and shaken up along the way, but I kept my sights on my destination so I kept pressing forward.

When we persue the things God has for us, there is a transtion from where we are to where God is taking us. Sometimes it's quick and other times the journey is long with unexpected turns. Sometimes it's unusually easy and other times we look back and wonder how we even made it through. We get through by looking to Jesus and holding on to Him only.

Recently, I was reminded that the transition stage of labor is the difficult and intense, but it also means the baby is almost ready to arrive. Usually I have found that the moment where I feel most discouraged and His plans seem the most impossible occurs just before He breaks in and changes things.

Maybe it's because that's when I totally give up on my own abilities, surrender my ideas of what I think should happen, and look to Him alone as my hope.

For example, one day I was driving home from work exasperated with my job, telling God I could not do it anymore, did not want to do it anymore, and couldn't even imagine any job that I could do that wouldn't be miserable or pay very little. Within the month I had a better job that wasn't stressful to me at all.

Another time I was raising money for a trip to Kenya. I had raised less that 5% and I saw that one of my friends has already raised about 2/3 of the money. I told God I would never be able to do it. The following day, a friend put a check in the mail for the remaining amount I needed.

Then Sunday morning that I was in Kenya, I had completely given up on the idea that God ever intended for me to preach. About two hours later I was preaching in a church in Kenya.

I'm not saying that we should focus on how impossible or difficult things are. I am saying that when we inevitably experience discouragement or doubt, we can be encouraged that as we press into God in those moments, hope is just around the corner. All we have to do is hold on to Him and not give up.

Jesus redeems everything. He "bestow[s] on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. " Isaiah 61:3.

We we bring him our difficulties, doubts, and discouragement and He gives us wisdom, hope, and strength. When we come to Him, He give us the grace we need to "press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called [us] heavenward in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:14).

It's an adventure and God leads us even when we can not see. It's not always an easy journey, but it's always worth it. God is always with us and He always faithful.